"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
