Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Randomize
