just come out here and I will go home with you...
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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