one might say we're banned from that church
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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