I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
