he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
