I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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