I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
