I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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