Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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