I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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