I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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