Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
