I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
