I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
