i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
