the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Randomize
