i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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