Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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