so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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