who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
