Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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