We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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