he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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