Need sex. Gaining weight.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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