Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
