i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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