So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
