We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
