I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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