tell your sister to shave her snatch
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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