I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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