Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
