I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
