I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
