lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
