My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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