Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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