Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
