Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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