Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
she pinky promised me she was 18
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
