I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
