My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Boobs are out for the taking
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
