Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
