She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
They took my balls.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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