As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
