soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
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