just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
