cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
