It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
