well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
