so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
