Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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