garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
