Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
