hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
bring money and cleavage
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
