that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
