yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
