I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
