Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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