we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize
