Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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