Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
